“What the hell are you doing?”
Caleb looked back over his shoulder as I called out to him. I couldn’t help but fear for the worst, as he stood on the edge of the building, off-balance in his drunken state. Immediately, I recognized the expression he wore in his eyes, as I had grown all too familiar with the look he gave me. I’d stayed up late with Caleb many nights before, through some of his toughest struggles, and I had witnessed it many times. It was a look of fear, of sadness, and of relief.
It’s no secret that Caleb Houston struggles with his own demons. For years, it has been well documented that he has battled with drug addiction all throughout his career. At times, they have gotten in his way, preventing him from truly reaching the upper echelon of professional wrestling. Hell, there have been times that his vices have gotten in my way, when I have had to put my career on hold to baby-sit him through one of his binges. I’ve cleaned him up like a baby when he’s thrown up all over himself after swallowing handfuls of pills. I’ve carried him out of bathrooms and alleys with needles hanging out of his arms. Here is a man whom I have seen at his worst, but not yet at his best. Don’t get me wrong – Caleb Houston is good. He is very, very good. It’s these skeletons in his closet that continue to weigh on him, to hold him back. He’ll take a step forward, only to leap back again. It wasn’t until I saw him there, however, teetering on the roof, that I finally realized just how far Caleb Houston could end up falling.
My story doesn’t start there, however. Let me tell y’all how it begins…
==========
December 31st, 2014
12:04 P.M.
==========
I almost couldn’t contain my excitement, as I burst through the front door of the apartment. I was half-expecting Caleb to not even be here. Ever since he and Liz Smalls started smashing, he had been spending more time at her place than here. Deep down, of course, I knew that what I was promising would be too much for him to pass.
“Lucy, I’m hoooooooooome!” I call out in an intentionally over-the-top manner. Caleb smirks.
“And, cue applause.”
I shut the door behind me, and immediately approach my bedroom, with Caleb following me intently. I can feel his eyes shifting from side to side as I pass a small pill container from my left hand to my right, shuffling through my pocket to retrieve my loose change, and then exchange hands once more. I turn around, setting the coins on my nightstand before I leave the room, Caleb once again on my ass like a hungry dog. I can just imagine that trickle of drool hanging down from his bottom lip. I plop down on the couch, and Caleb stands firm at attention in front of me, obscuring my view of the TV.
“Do I owe you money or…?” My tone is sharp, agitated, but intended to be playful and snarky. Caleb knew that I knew that he knew what was in the container, and he was making it painfully obvious. Finally, the pressure was just too much for him to bear.
“Cut the crap, tho’. Let me see it!”
I hesitate, only for a moment, before jumping quickly to my feet.
“Okay, fine!”
I unscrew the cap on the orange container, making my way to my kitchen with Caleb following close behind. I carefully dump the contents on to the bar counter, watching carefully so that I don’t lose any of the expensive pills. Caleb grabs one between two fingers, examining the small, blue circles closely. He’s like a scientist when it comes to this shit. I watched as he slowly moved it toward his mouth, and quickly slapped his hand. A quiet whimper escaped him, as the little blue pill plummeted to the carpet floor.
“Dammit bro, these are for tonight! You will not eat the Ecstasy before the party tonight!”
As much as I would have loved to indulge myself, I knew how expensive this shit is, and I did not intend to waste it. Caleb got down on one knee and retrieved the pill, dusting it off gently before placing it back on the counter.
“Five-second Rule, bro. It’s all good.”
Before our conversation could proceed, we’re interrupted by a knock at the door. Caleb and I exchange an uneasy glance, and he reaches for the pills.
“That could be the po’. Maybe I should just eat these now and destroy the evidence.” He shrugs, and I’m convinced that he’s completely serious.
“Don’t even think about it,” I warn him, as I head to the door. I peer through the little spy-hole, and recognize the face looking back at me. It was Johnny, a good friend of mine, as well as Caleb, and the old man who now runs Midas Touch Billiards and Bar. I could practically smell the heavy musk he calls cologne as I undo the latches on the door and let my friend in. He takes one look at Caleb, still gawking over the pills like he just discovered Narnia, and he shakes his head.
“The hell are you boys doing in here?” His voice is deep and gruff, but warm. I shut the door behind him, as he hangs his coat and approaches the bar.
“This is some top-shelf E, Johnny,” I affirm to my friend, who had certainly figured it out for himself by now, judging by the irritated glare he shot me. “This is the best shit on the market!”
“Ain’t better than what I got, tho’,” Caleb smirks, pulling a small plastic bag full of similar blue pills out from his pocket.
“Really, bro? You’ve had your own shit this whole time?” I shake my head, forcing out a frustrated sigh. “Why’d you have me pick this up then, jackass?”
“Hey,” he fires back, “my exact words were ‘You can pick up today if you want.’ I never said I ain’t holding. Besides, ain’t no thang with having a little extra somethin’.”
Caleb starts scooping the pills into his one bag, as Johnny folds his arms, looking incredibly annoyed.
“Well, that’s all fine and dandy, but don’cha boys have more important things to be thinking about than popping pills and having a gay ol’ time at this stupid New Year’s Eve party you’re making me attend?”
“Johnny, you’re the owner of the bar,” I interject. “You’re the most public face of the company. It’s pretty much mandatory that you show up.”
“That ain’t the point, boy!” He raises his voice a bit, to a somewhat unreasonable volume. “You kids are finally getting a big shot at SCW, and yer’ still just so damn wrapped up in partyin’, and havin’ fun! So tell me somethin’, how much fun will it be when you boys lose next Sunday? You boys should be ashamed’a yerselves!”
“Johnny,” I interrupt again, waving my hands toward him, “relax, bro. What’s got you so worked up today?”
“I’m sorry,” he grunts, “but I ain’t been laid since I was shot in the shoulder last summer, so please forgive me for being a little grumpy!”
“Oh,” Caleb shouts, reaching frantically into his other pocket. “That reminds me, I-…”
“Save it, boy,” Johnny grumbles, shaking his head as he makes his way back to the door. “You two nitwits have yer’ fun tonight, but don’t come cryin’ to me when you screw up yer’ careers again!”
I reach out to my friend, attempting to calm him, but he storms out the door before I can stop him, slamming it behind him. I wonder what’s really got him wound up so tight, I think to myself, as I sit back down on the couch. My thoughts slowly scatter into a million different directions and, as Caleb continues fawning over the baggie of pills, I start to wonder if maybe Johnny has a point. Caleb and I always find a way to fall off the track, stray from our path in order to do something simpler and more fun. Despayre and Big B have been champions for over seven months, and I’m sure it’s because they’re just that good. Sure, Caleb and I are all about the fun, but if we want to beat those two and even the score against the Sins, then we need to be focused. If those two are going to be good, then we need to be that much better.
==========
January 1st, 2015
12:40 A.M.
==========
“Hey…hey you,” I manage to call out, my words slurred in light of my heavy drinking, “the one with the face. Come ‘ere,”
I squint carefully at the man approaching me. I don’t recognize him, but to be honest I probably wouldn’t recognize myself in the mirror right now if I tried. The bald man nervously approaches me, obviously disturbed by the large bulge protruding from my crotch.
“E-excuse me, sir,” he mumbles, “but are you aware that you have an erection?”
“Don’t act like you’re not impressed!” I shout, and seem to scare the guy. “Yeah, I’m sure you’re all wondering why I have this raging, mega-huge hard-on right now, but that ain’t even what’s important right now. What’s important is that y’all know just who’s in charge of this place. That’s right, I’m talkin’ about me, JT-fucking-Midas! I’m that guy, the one who’s gonna walk into Inception with my partner, Caleb Houston, and we’re gonna’ walk outta’ there as the SCW Tag Team Champions!”
“Who are you talking to?” The man flashes me a look, and is obviously very nervous, maybe even a bit frightened.
“What d’ya mean, ‘Who are you talking to?’” I raise an eyebrow. “I’m cutting a promo, dumbass! Now just, just stay right there and keep recording.”
“But…I don’t have a camera.”
“I’m rich,” I insist vehemently. “I’ll buy you one.”
The guy blinks a couple times in confusion, but I just clear my throat and continue.
“I know what you’re thinking, all of you…you probably think Caleb and I ain’t focused, but we are. We’re, we’re so focused on becoming the champions, and that’s exactly what will happen at Inception! Despayre, you and your big butt buddy ain’t even got a fighting chance, because me and-…”
I find myself suddenly at a loss for words, as I spew vomit all over the unfortunate man who had been watching my sad attempt at a shoot. I never was too good at these things…
==========
January 1st, 2015
1:15 A.M.
==========
The party raged on inside as I stood out in the cold, watching apprehensively as Caleb swayed back and forth, almost hanging over the ledge of the roof. What was he doing up here?
“Just thinking about things,” he replied, obviously still pretty drunk. His voice was cold and expressionless. “Wondering if I could fly right now...”
“Not going to happen,” I assured him, grabbing him by the arm. I could tell that he was very, very messed up right now, and I knew immediately that it would be another one of those late nights.
“One day I’m going to fly from this rooftop,” he manages to say, with a hiccup. “I will fly….”
He hopped down from the ledge, leaning back against it with a smile on his face. No, I thought, this is not like Caleb. Even at his lowest, he never got like this. This was different.
“Hand me a beer,” he asks, closing his eyes for a brief moment.
“Sure.” I kneel down, grabbing a couple beers from the cooler. I toss one to him as I get back onto my feet, and I walk toward him, leaning against the wall beside him. What was on his mind?
“Not really in the mood to party right now,” he explained, as if answering my unspoken concern. “Just got a lot on my mind right now, you know?”
Caleb extended his beer to me, offering a toast.
“But shit man…it’s 2015. Cheers to that.”
I hesitate a moment, before returning the gesture. We clank our drinks together, but I neither of us take a drink.
“Well, what’s going on?”
Caleb must have known that I was worried, so he did something that doesn’t come easily for him – He explained himself.
“You know…just stuff. Wondering about the decisions I’ve made in my career.”
“Are you referring to the retirement?”
“That’s one of them,” he answered quickly, but I knew that wasn’t all there was to it. He must have known that I see that, because he continued. “Then there are other things, as well.”
“Such as?”
“I’m just scared, man,” he finally tells me, probably the most honest I’ve ever heard him. “Scared of where I came from. Scared of where I’m going. But more importantly, scared because I’m beginning to forget more than I can remember.”
“What do you mean?”
I wasn’t sure what he meant. I had never really seen Caleb this way before.
“I don’t even know,” he responded reluctantly, and shook his head. “I guess there are certain people in your life you never expect to remember just through pictures. Eventually those pictures begin to fade, making the memories even harder to find.”
“There are certain things in the world you just can’t change, Caleb,” I finally said to him, after a brief moment of silence. “You know that by now.”
I felt like that out-of-touch father, trying to explain to an innocent child how the cruel the world could be. I, as well as Caleb, knew this all too well.
“Yeah, I get that. I know that whole bullshit line, ‘Everything happens for a reason.’ Trust me. I’ve heard that over a million times in my life. But sometimes I wonder when we’re going to see those reasons, you know? How much does one person have to lose before they win something?”
He seemed genuinely shaken up, so I place my hand on his shoulder.
“I get it, man. “The way I see it, man, you have won. First off, you have Liz. Who - I can’t believe I’m actually going to say this - seems like she’s having a very positive influence on your life, and you got me. I think I’ve proven to you by now I’m going to be here for you through thick and thin.”
He gave me an uneasy smile, which I returned
“Brothers?” I asked, and he nodded.
“Brothers.”
EDIT: Edited only to format my text in order to make it easier to read. Nothing has changed from the original post.
