Prior to my match against Calaway, I had a funeral to deal with. It wasn’t easy to say goodbye to my grandfather officially but once the funeral was over, things became easier for me to deal with. There was a family dinner after the fact and it was a bit jarring having seen some relatives that I had either never met or hadn’t seen in years. Of course, being “world famous professional wrestler” made me a bit of a commodity. Still, my career was the last thing I was thinking about when I was interacting with my mother and grandmother.
“He left this for you…” my grandmother said to me as she handed me a small box. “...he always talked about how it was important for him that you received this.”
“I’m not sure I can accept this…” I said.
“If my father wanted you to have it, then I see no issue…” my mother added.
“Fine…” I said, accepting the box. I opened it and the box was filled with Victorian era jewelry and a note from my grandfather that, once I opened it up, saw that it was written in 2011, shortly after I started my wrestling training. I was floored and unsure of what to think when I read the note aloud…
“Julianna…
If I never see you again because of your father, I want you to have this from me. Don’t take this lightly. This once belonged to my own mother. As I saw you grow up, I felt like you were a reincarnation of her to some degree. From what I was able to see if you, you came off so headstrong, not wanting to take crap from anyone, telling it like it is and getting after anything you set your mind to consequences be damned. My mother would’ve loved you had she lived long enough to meet you. As you start, or I guess continue by the time you read this, your wrestling journey, I wanted to leave you a final reminder of who you are and where you come from. I know you will treat this with care and you always have my love.”
I put the note back in the box and closed it. I was frozen with shock as I wasn’t sure if I deserved it or not.
“Do I deserve this, really?”
“Of course you do…” my grandmother reassured me. “He loved you almost as if you were another daughter to him.”
“How many times have we discussed selling yourself short, honey?” my mother asked me.
“Right, I understand that better now.”
“Anyway, there’s something I should tell you now, speaking of your wrestling journey. I’m staying back here with my mother for a while.”
My eyes widened, having been thrown for a loop.
“She doesn’t want to stay here alone and is working on immigrating to the States.”
“I understand but…” I was suddenly cut of by my cell phone interrupting me and I got a quick look at the text I received out of curiosity.
“When that gets sorted out, she’s going to be living with me. She wants to be closer to us after all.”
“Yeah, I completely understand…” I said, trying to focus after just learning I was wrestling Alexandra Calaway again.
“You’re with me, right?”
“Yeah, I’m just living in shock right now after everything that’s been going on. You’re okay with this, grandmother?”
“This is what I need and honestly what I want. I haven’t spent enough time with you two in years and I don’t want to go to the grave with that regret.”
“If you’re fine with it, I’m fine with it. But shoot, that means I’ve got to attack this whole thing in the ring on my own…”
My mother and grandmother looked at each other and they seemed more amused than worried which caught me off guard for a bit.
“Julianna… you don’t need to worry about me…” my grandmother said in response. “Grieving is the worst, but we’re all going to get through this stronger together. You, more than anyone, has the least to worry about. You were successful even before you decided to get your mother more involved with your career, yes?”
I had bonded so much with my mother over the last year that I actually did forget this.
“This would be a great time for you to focus on yourself…” my mother adds as she places a hand on my shoulder. “You’ve grown by leaps and bounds over the last few months especially as you’ve transitioned out of the world championship to the Internet Championship.”
“Alexandra Calaway won’t know what hit her and that woman is in for a rude awakening. Again.” I blurted out.
“Oh god, her again?” My mother says with a laugh. “You don’t have too much to worry about but at least she’s not going to be nearly as bad of an experience as Violent Conduct. Yeah, you’re going to be fine. Focus on getting stronger and better. You’ve shown that you can when you defended your title under the most heartbreaking circumstances.”
“Not to mention everything with my father more than anything…” I said, reminding myself. This brought a smile out of my mother and we exchanged an embrace.
“See? You got this!”
I was definitely feeling better now and the mingling after the funeral continued.
I did, indeed, beat Calaway again. But on the flight back to San Diego? I was pretty miffed…
“How much more of this fucking disrespect do I have to put up with?” I wrote in my diary. “Alexandra Calaway was one of the few women I had a TINY bit of respect for but after that two faced shit she pulled, being up my ass on Twitter only to completely trash me on camera (“faded star” when I only have two losses… what the FUCK?) I no longer have respect for that flip flopping, projecting, cunt. She didn’t grow since our first encounter (maybe she’s even regressed honestly) and it was like I was facing Raine all over again.”
Just writing that woman’s name was enough to irk me a bit.
“This type of crap is why I don’t even bother trying to have any friends in SCW and I’ve been putting up with this shit ever since Courtney and her goddamn nonsense…” I continued to write, only to be interrupted by text messages coming through my phone in spite of the flight’s rather weak Wi-Fi signal. I rolled my eyes and paused, seeing texts from my best friends Ally and Christy as well as my boyfriend Liam offering condolences for my grandfather but at the same time congratulating me for being able to pull through it all inside of the ring. I wrote them all back thanking them, then linking them to Calaway’s PUTRID promo against me and letting them know that I was “so sick of this shit”.
My anger only boiled over as I continued to write.
“Not even those closest to me will know how fucking sick I am of being basically the most disrespected Bombshell in SCW history. When I first came here, I never imagined that I would be as disrespected as I have been. I know I have my attitude and all, but you have had your Courtneys and crybaby runaway nobodies and Calaway all treating me like I’m worth nothing with fucking Kayla Richards and her bullshit earlier this year and after putting up with the lack of appreciation and respect for so long, you just about get fed up with it all and I am at that point right now…”
Again, I’d be interrupted by text messages. Either my airline Wi-Fi was that inconsistent or those three really loved the hell out of me. I didn’t know whether to feel loved or annoyed when Ally texted me back telling me to chill and reminding me that I might still be tense because of my grandfather and that SCW might be to blame because “they don’t realize what they have”. Christy was asking me why I was letting that bother me when I ran someone that blatantly buried me out of SCW.
This brought me out of my anger a bit as I realized that two women that went out of their way to try to disrespect and trash me no longer worked for the company. I wasn’t focused on my diary at this point as I glanced at Liam’s message reminding me to screw what everyone else thinks and screw the idea of having any friends or respecting anyone else in SCW because the truth was that everyone was in it for themselves anyway. He added on that I’m the strongest woman he knows other than his own mother and that at least calmed me down.
I was able to refocus on my diary at this point.
“I’m glad that at the very least, I have some people in my life that are always going to appreciate me even though it’s obvious as hell that it’s probably never going to come from anyone in SCW…” I wrote. “There has to be at least one idiot in that locker room that thinks that either I had a ‘downfall’ because I went from World title to Internet title or thinks that I won’t be as motivated this year. FUCK THAT! I’m just as motivated if not MORE motivated! Why wouldn’t I be? The moment I challenged for the world title, the disrespect started coming and even after I won the title, whether it was this company giving me challengers like Vargas and Calaway, it continued. After the way my last two opponents have treated me, it’s time to really step up and start smacking people in the mouth because the honest truth is, I’m at my last god damn nerve!
The people in my life that matter do appreciate me and I’m not going to take that for granted and now that I really think about it? I know I’m not the problem because I can’t control the incompetency of some upper management decisions or the stupidity of the idiots that I work with. So, when I beat the winner of their STUPID POPULARITY CONTEST, I will show those idiots who the fuck I am and what I am really about…”
I took a deep breath and felt far better than I had previously having gotten all of that out of my system.
11-13-2024
Being back in my own bed was a hell of a feeling after that tour leading up to Violent Conduct and all the traveling back and forth between the states and Berlin with my grandfather’s situation. But when I woke up on this particular morning, I found myself stunned as there was an entire breakfast catered in front of me from fired eggs and biscuits, to coffee, fruit and juice. There was even a rose next to it and I narrowed my eyes, not knowing how I feel since this was completely out of left field.
“Liam…” I said, sounding annoyed but feeling frozen in shock. Sure enough, he came into my bedroom and he knew right away that I was thrown for a loop as he saw that I was in that state of shock.
“What? You’re acting as if nobody has ever done this for you?”
I said nothing, still being in a state of surprise.
“Is this too much for you?” he asked.
“Look Liam, when you consider the history that I had with my father over the years, I’m not used to people being explicitly nice to me. You also know how I feel about SCW and how across the board, I’ve never been treated right by anyone I work with from Courtney and her ‘nobody’ talk and the way she tried to undercut me and the likes of that fucking idiot Luna Pasilno throwing shade at me when I’ve never publicly said a word about her… especially when she was acting like her and Kayla was THE REAL MAIN EVENT and all, Alexandra Calaway doing the shit she just did and the fact that my title defense at High Stakes was reduced to a fucking poll without even ANY effort to determine or find a REAL challenger that deserves it on TOP of the fact that Tempest lacked any respect for me to try to challenge me to a rematch… then yeah, maybe my boyfriend giving me breakfast in bed out of nowhere is a fucking culture shock to me because all I am used to is disrespect and being taken for granted…”
Liam takes a bit of a breath, but he’s not deterred by what I just said as he sat down next to me on the bed.
“What I hear is a bunch of obstacles a strong young lady has overcome for more than a year and you should give yourself far more credit considering that some of the women you’ve worked with haven’t come close to what you’ve dealt with and couldn’t stay on the roster.”
I sighed, knowing he had a point.
“Plus, you should put yourself out there more instead of being more of a loner in SCW.”
“For people that don’t fucking appreciate me? Fuck no.”
“I think the casuals, after a year and change of you being in the company, still don’t know who you are and your opponents obviously don’t so maybe that’s why they’re just throwing the worst nonsense at you during your promos, to their own peril of course…”
“Liam, those bitches are just fucking catty in general and as you saw with Alexandra Calaway, none of them are even WORTH being friends with. Besides, why even make an effort to connect with an audience at all? I’ve made that effort in my pre-SCW career only to be forgotten about for another flavor of the month before. It’s just not worth it in my book. We can leave that garbage for the Bella Madisons of the world.”
“What you see as an issue, I see as an opportunity. I mean, you have something called an INTERNET CHAMPIONSHIP and you know how popular podcasts, social media, streaming and so forth is all the rage in society these days. What I am trying to say is, maybe if you took advantage of what your title is supposed to be about, the audience may see you differently, your co-workers might see you differently and then you wouldn’t be treated like garbage the way your last two opponents have and the way the likes of Courtney, Luna and Kayla have previously.”
“Look… Liam…”
“Your breakfast is starting to get cold by the way…”
I sneered at him in a bit of a comical fashion as I took a sip of coffee.
“Like I was trying to say, trying to convince an audience or the locker room idiots to change their tune about me is a worthless cause. I mean, all that Internet stuff sound fun, but I sure as fuck wouldn’t do it for anything other than my own gratification.”
“I don’t think it’s a worthless cause, but fair play on everything else.”
“I just don’t think I’ll ever have that connection with the fans that I once did and I’ve seen enough from the locker room to know I’ll always be a loner in SCW. Whatever sliver of hope I had for things to be different died with that garbage Calaway promo she did against me.”
“In that case? Just relax and quit worrying about it. You know that the only person you need to validate yourself to is you anyway.”
“Thank you. I’ll stay the course, but… I do think I can make something out of this whole ‘internet thing’... and I do think I can start remembering how to treat myself better. God knows I don’t need another private meltdown like the ones I had off-camera during my world title reign.””
I sighed before I finally eating.
“Thanks for this by the way! It’s so thoughtful!”
Liam could only laugh as we continued our conversation after it had shifted to other subjects.
11-22-2024
Live from Twitch…
Julianna DiMaria Hosts a VIRTUAL MEET AND GREET!
Doing this Twitch thing was WEIRD for me, but there were plenty of people on the chatbox, most of whom were either up Bella’s ass or rooting for me to fail. I rolled my eyes seeing things like “BELLA FOR PRESIDENT”, “BELLA PWNS JULIANNA”, “JULIANNA IS A NEPO BABY” and “BELLA IS FINALLY GONNA BE A CHAMPION!”
“HELLO…” I said in the most disingenuous tone possible. “Look at all you DUMBFUCKS being so far up Bella’s ass, you’ve probably seen her get pregnant again! What? You didn’t like that?”
I laughed seeing a bunch of “FUCK YOU BITCH” comments on the chat.
“Yeah, this is me doing the internet thing… since the INTERNET IS SO POPULAR and for whatever fucking reason, rather than shoot me someone worth my fucking time, SCW got LAZY and decided to do a FUCKING POLL to determine my next challenger and with over 60% of the vote, BELLA MADISON got this championship match. Wow. I mean, a popularity contest in my book is the dumbest way to determine a challenger but for those of you that have the memory of a goldfish, keep in mind that I already beat Bella in a championship match before nearly a year ago when I retained the World Championship against her. I mean, it’s not like she did MUCH to earn THAT shot because beating Krystal Wolfe is nothing to brag about but at least THEN, she won it in the ring. I get it, Bella fans. You all want her to be a champion SO BAD because she’s been in SCW X amount of years and has NEVER won a singles championship. I’m going to piss ALL of you off when I say that Bella Madison ISN’T THAT GIRL…”
I smiled seeing a bunch of “fuck you” and “you’re wrong” comments in the chat with even a “Bella is a champion of the people” comment in there.
“REALLY? You want to anoint Bella as a champion of the people? See, here’s what I don’t fucking understand. How is it that you neckbeards and basement dwellers on my stream LIKE HER so much even though all she’s done is fail you again…
Pause to reveal a picture of her losing to Andrea Hernandez in her first High Stakes match…
“And again…”
A picture of her losing to Amber Ryan is shown…
“And again…”
A picture of Bella losing to me last year is next…
“And AGAIN…”
One more picture: Victoria Lyons beating her at Violent Conduct.
“You get behind THAT and not ME? You respect THE perennial bridesmaid of this division instead of ME? Someone who had to work her way up from paternal abuse and the rock bottoms of rock bottoms to become the wrestler that she is today? Someone that is honest, doesn’t sugar coat a fucking thing, doesn’t go out of her way to lower herself to inspire hope in a downtrodden demographic like YOU fucking people? You people think that Bella compares to me? But here’s the fucking truth. She doesn’t. Whatever adversity she wants to whine about doesn’t compare to me. In a recent singles match going up against Diamond Steele, YOUR GIRL was whining, bitching and crying about being at rock bottom. Some PEOPLE’S CHAMPION, right? She’s acting as if losing to Victoria Lyons is rock bottom and the end of the world, so how can your girl think she can beat me? Tell me that!
‘Oh I’ve lost it all… oh I’m in so much pain… I failed to win a title again. Poor me!!!!
FUCK YOU BELLA, you don’t even know the HALF of what fucking rock bottom is and your fans that are blind enough to root for you on my Twitch stream are BLIND to this because half of them are fucking perverts that only want to fuck you anyway and the other half couldn’t know rock bottom at all because they never touch grass! Let me EDUCATE you people on what rock bottom is:
Try being abused by your father CONSTANTLY and having him in your head for YEARS after his death laughing at you for every failure.
Try having a former boyfriend that brainwashed you and mentally abused you to the point where you were a JOKE in this business!
When has Bella Madison ever been seen as a joke? Tell me chat!”
Most of the chat responded with “Never”.
“EXACTLY! If for who her mother is more than anything else, Bella’s name has ALWAYS had some form of respect around here. Let me continue my ‘rock bottom’ point. Try losing your first world championship and being reduced to being the final chapter in a retiring wrestler’s moment of glory. Hell, try forgiving that company only to be reduced to nostalgia act. Losing to Kayla Richards TWICE COULD’VE been a rock bottom for MOST wrestlers and is BY FAR a harsher loss to deal with than Victoria Lyons but NOOOO… precious Bella wants to cry ROCK BOTTOM after losing at Violent Conduct. THAT right there is why YOUR GIRL still hasn’t been a champion in this company… because what she proved when she cut that promo in her previous match is that she is SOFT AS FUCK! She is someone that gives up FAR too easily. I get that she’s had heartbreakers, but are you fucking kidding me? THAT’S your ‘people’s champion’? THAT is who you vote for to face me? THAT is who you look up to and who you allow your daughters or baby sisters to see as a role model?
A SOFTIE? Someone who knows NOTHING about what rock bottom is yet acts as if her Violent Conduct loss is the end of the world when my two losses here were FAR more heartbreaking then THAT and I STILL bounced back and won my championship?
You choose THAT to face me? You choose HER over me?”
I start laughing when I see the comments in the chat starting to shift a bit and one even giving me my due on what I just said.
“There’s no MAYBE BellaGirl99… I DO have a point! Want me to keep going? Fuck it! Let me put on the best Bella parody ever for you people… for those of you that think I have no personality or that I can’t entertain you blimey fuckwads! Bella’s attitude until you shoved your votes up her ass went a little something like this… hold on…”
I paused to bring a straight haired long wig into the picture before I fixed my hair to put it on and then I applied some cosmetics on my face, some gloves over my hands and a Bella t-shirt over my chest to look as close to Bella Madison as possible.
“After being exposed as Victoria Lyons’s bitch…” I began in a mocking, whiny voice “...I hit rock bottom! I have lost everything! I’ve been feeling lost since she KICKED MY ASS! What’s next for me? I don’t know! I’m BROKEN! I don’t care anymore! POOR ME! Losing to Victoria sucked out all of my GOOD SIDE and now I don’t care! Fuck that there’s more to life than a title match, WAH! I don’t CARE anymore! The universe hates me because I can’t win a title match! POOR ME! POOOOOOR MEEEEEE! I don’t CARE about being the nice girl and I DON’T CARE what people think of me! I know I have a BUNCH OF STUPID FANS but because I don’t CARE what people think of me and because I don’t CARE about being liked so FUCK MY FANS because if you like me, I don’t care… so basically all I care about is WINNING and I don’t CARE about YOU PEOPLE after all… BUT PLEASE VOTE ME INTO THIS INTERNET TITLE MATCH SO I CAN KISS YOUR ASS ON SOCIAL MEDIA AND THANK YOU ALL FOR GIVING ME THE GLASS SLIPPER I DON’T DESERVE, NEVER MIND THE FACT THAT I SAID PREVIOUSLY THAT I DON’T CARE WHEThER PEOPLE LIKE ME OR NOT.
OH MY GOD, I’m a HYPOCRITE!”
I was trying very hard to contain my laughter when I saw the chat go dead silent. There were a few that were calling me a liar and saying that Bella never said those things.
“Listen to that clip and weep…” I said as I linked the clip from Bella’s promo against Diamond where Bella straight up said she didn’t care about being liked. “Bella4Ever12” mentioned that in the clip I linked, she mentioned that Bella said that she doesn’t care about respect anymore. Then I saw someone named “BringBackMyra350” ask how the fans can vote for someone that doesn’t even respect her fans and who doesn’t care about her fans anymore.
“EXACTLY… um… BrickBackMyra350…” I said with a laugh. “EXACTLY! And for those of you in the chat trying to call me a hypocrite for bringing up that I don’t give a fuck about the fans and that I never gave a shit about being liked… shove it because while that MAY be true, at least I am HONEST about it and for the most part, I’ve been this way throughout my entire career. I came into this company being one of the most brutally honest bitches that you’re ever going to meet and regardless of anything that has happened, I haven’t wavered from that. Meanwhile, Bella finally breaks after years of being the bridesmaid of this division and she basically stabs all of you people, most of whom probably voted for her in that poll by the way, in the back by deciding that she only cares about herself and that she only cares about winning and that she doesn’t give a shit if she’s liked by YOU, the FANS, anymore which you know, OKAY FINE I guess, but if you’re going to do that, don’t turn around and thank the fans on Twitter and act like they’re the best thing ever when they voted you into this match because if you really DON’T give a shit about whether you are liked or not, then you wouldn’t be expressing being SO TOUCHED AND HONORED to be voted into this match. What it boils down to, Bella fans… is that bella Madison seems to only like you people when it is most convenient for her and THAT is someone you want to respect? Really? Now she wants to do an about face about her popularity when it benefits her?
The fuck out of here!
She’s just as much of a two-faced bitch as Alexandra “I’m nice to you on Twitter, but I bury you in promo” Calaway is…
She’s just as much of a valueless woman as Courtney Pierce was…
Hell, that proves once and for all that she lacks any real convictions and any real consistency and she’s one of those wrestlers that just go where the wind blows. This whole ‘I don’t care anymore’ thing and talking about how she’s going to set fire to everyone and shove people out of the way and all of this ANGRY BELLA nonsense she’s trying to portray since Victoria Lyons made her her bitch is really someone PROJECTING and someone DESPERATE enough to try ANYTHING to be relevant in ANY way and when you look at the evidence, when you compare her to me, for those of you simpletons that didn’t know any better, that don’t know my story of a girl that came up from nothing, suffering through a father that never wanted her to be successful in this business, suffering through bullshit after bullshit of disrespect in SCW since I’ve been here from Courtney calling me a ‘nobody’ and the recent shit with Raine and Alexandra, the heartbreakers to Kayla, my grandfather passing recently, my mother having her cancerous kidney removed before last year’s High Stakes and just about ANYTHING I have fought through to BE THAT BITCH that I am today…
Who should REALLY be the people’s champion and the wrestler that should be respected? Who’s TRULY the stronger woman? Who has truly proven themselves to be a worthy champion while the other one scuffles in mediocrity and having no idea what the FUCK she wants to be anymore because she’s allowed her shortcomings to define her and force her to create LIES to herself that are projected to YOU… FUCKING… PEOPLE!”
I was feeling that anger in me as I removed the wig I was wearing and let my hair down. After a brief silence in the Twitch chat, I was seeing things such as…
“I underestimated you, Julianna…”
“When it’s put that way, I don’t know why I voted for Bella now…”
“I am no longer a Bella Madison fan…”
“Julianna, I’m sorry. You should be respected more. Please beat Bella.”
“I’d rather deal with a bitch that is honest like Julianna, then a selfish bitch like Bella who only likes someone like me when it’s convenient…”
I was seeing PLENTY of apologies from fans in the chat at this point.
“I think it’s pretty clear that when it comes to this match, it’s not just the track record… it’s the people that we are: the strong, brutally honest bitch who has overcome the cruelest of times in the business and the self-loathing, mentally flimsy flip flopper who ‘rock bottoms’ after losing a ROULETTE title match and who doesn’t know who the fuck she is anymore.
Always the bridesmaid, never the bride…
And that nightmare WILL manifest itself at High Stakes for her. AGAIN!”
Among ‘AWESOME STREAM” comments from Bella turned Julianna fans I just made in the chat, I laughed as I turned off the Twitch stream.
